by Jon Bains & others
1.Prerequisites
Obviously if you are considering creating a magazine you probably already have shit loads of enthusiasm and motivation. However something that may not have occurred to you is that you also need a great deal of disposable cash since you will undoubtedly lose 95% of all the money put into said magazine not to mention your friends, family, sanity and self respect, so you would be best disposing of them before you start to simplify matters. It also helps if you are unemployed and have no real life to speak of.
2.Editorial Direction
Before you can begin gathering material it might help to decide clearly and concisely what area you would like to cover with said fanzine: will it be yet another Carter fanzine? or something like us who never bothered with this step. Background in your desired genre helps otherwise you will probably end up sounding as clueless as we do.
3. Gathering material
Once you have decided who you want to interview and what records you want to review you have to find some way getting the stuff since you can no longer afford to buy tickets for gigs to ask the bands in person and you can't afford to buy new records because all your money is tied up in your magazine. Therefore you must:
3.1 Networking
Also known as sucking up to the record companies. Get the music week directory, think of all your favourite bands, find out what label they are on, get their phone numbers / addresses and harass the bastards. You know you are doing something right when they are sending you, the editor of a hardcore whatever fanzine copies of the new Kim Sims album or whatever.
3.2 Interviews
Here are some tips on interview technique which have taken us years to learn and should save you some time and save you from some of those embarrassing moments during an interview when your brain goes dead.
Always plan out the interview ahead of time, write down some questions, you can even work out some kind of plan for the conversation. Don't forget to include your 'stock' questions which should include:
So, how is the tour going? What have you been up to for the last two years? How have you been received by the media? What are your plans for the future?
and if you are really desperate
How did the band get their name? How did you get into music? What are your influences? What do you think of (current location)?
and you would probably be wise to always finish with:
Any chance of scrounging a T-Shirt?
Other useful tips:
Ignore the above, play it natural and sober (optional) so as not to make too much of a tit of yourself.
3.2.1 Post Interview Blues.
Once you have embarrassed yourself in front of the few people you respect on the planet it is then time to think about transcribing the interview. Now you get to relive the entire experience all over again one word at a time, listening to every nervous giggle, every loooong pause, every time you said something un-cool. Then . . .
3.2.2 Edit the fuck out of it.
Editing is a magical experience for those who have never tried it. You can twist, distort, mislead, falsify, misrepresent, exaggerate, garble, misinterpret, pervert and basically do whatever the fuck you want with it.
3.3 Reviews
What could be easier writing a review? Nothing really but writing a hundred reviews can be a bit of a pain in the arse. This is probably the one task that you can safely delegate to any Tom, Dick or Harriet who wants to do it. Just remember if you slag off too many records the record company (who you will obviously receive a free copy of the next issue) may decide not to send you any more records. So, you make other people do all the reviews and if the record company doesn't like it: Blame them. Cool huh.
Basic rules of review writing:
I would recommend that you listen to at least one track although this might not be necessary if a good press kit was provided. Compare every band with about three other bands. Pigeonhole where appropriate But most importantly pick your metaphor, try describing the album in terms of a greasy breakfast. ie this album could have been the black pudding of rock music but ends up being the stewed tomato of stale seventies punk: thus you only ever need to write one review, simply change your metaphor.
(For further information about this read the NME or MelodyMaker)
3.4 Other stuff
You are also obliged to print: other stuff, therefore get all those budding artists, writers and posers out of the closet and give them space to air their own views. This reflects better on the magazine because it looks like more of a collective, than a single egomaniac editor.
3.5 Advertising
Oh yeah, if funds are tight you could try to get some advertising at this stage. You'll have to work out how yourself, I don't know.
4. Appearance
Having carefully looked through a few of the many millions of zines on the market you will have decided what format you would like your baby, this can be a very difficult decision choosing paper size and weight, cover style etc, but it can also be very easy i.e. you have no money, you have no option. A5;photocopied;4 pages.
5.Putting it all together
Method A Punk
Type out all the articles in column format on an old typewriter, cut them and paste them onto a background which has been created from old bits of news papers and other zines. Cons: Very time consuming, can look really crap. Pros: Gives the mag real character if done properly.
Method B Cyber
Take your text, load it into the DTP package of your choice, take your pictures, scan em, distort em and import em then fuck about with it on screen until it is 'like graphic designed man'. Cons: Serious hardware required and tends to be a bit cold. Pros: Readability
Method C Cyberpunk
A combination of A & B, gives the magazine both readability and character.
6.Getting the magazine printed
Once you have generated your amazing mag you must then find a cheap printer. If you can do it, I would really recommend Clydeside Press (plug) who print Convulsion, nice people and very cheap.
By this stage you had better have the cash to pay for it, so if you ignored the Advertising stage then it's time to go and see the bank manager to increase your already huge overdraft.
7.Letting everyone know.
Once you have produced your masterpiece, interviewed the bands, written the articles, reviews and got it off to the printers that is when the fun really starts. Firstly, take about half a dozen of the crap records you have received, sell them take the money and go to the pub. Get drunk. Get very drunk. Be as loud and obnoxious as you possibly can when somebody comes up to you and asks that age old question of 'Hows it Going?'. You must go on about how terrible it is to have to get up in the morning to let the postman bring you 'yet another pile of records' then name at least a dozen bands which nobody in the pub could have possibly heard of since there are currently only fifty white label cassettes of their debut album in the world and you got one. When somebody asks you what you think of the latest such and such album which they finally saved enough from their measly dole money to buy, today: the standard reply is 'yeah, I've had it for months and am bored of it now.'
8.Distributing your fanzine.
Most big distributors hate fanzines. Therefore getting your word to the world is going to be infinitely more difficult than producing the zine in the first place. Of course you can sell it at your local record stores, gigs etc but you probably won't sell that many that way. Depends what your print run is, if you can sell 500 in your own and a few surrounding cities you are doing pretty damn well. Contact the various distributors, hang around record stores waiting for the distribution reps to arrive and grovel like fuck to take it around with them. The final option I guess is that you can give it away.
9. Finale
Have a rest, take a stress pill and chill then return to number 1 and start on issue 2.
The above is crass, cynical, pretentious and generally un funny. So why do it? What is the point? The point is probably as cliched as the article, making a publication can be damn hard work but at the moment fanzines are beginning to have real impact. Independent press is cheaper, more honest and altogether better. Do it.