(no not some wierd curry you uncultured sots, but music written for an old aftershave advert),
WHITE GOTHIC WRITING SCROLLS ONTO THE BLACK BLACK SCREEN.
Once upon a time there were three polite boys who grew up in quiet surroundings outside Belfast,a land renowned for producing an endless procession of cosy little bands who played insipid folk-rock in pubs. However these little boys were different,the disdained the easy exploitation of the tourist board version of Irish culture. Rather they soaked up the hardcore sounds of Big Black,Husker Du,RevCo,Ministry and other noisy bands from across the Atlantic. Together they created a fearsome rock beast of caustic guitar riffs,heaving bass lines,pounding percussion,and manic vocal wailing. They called this creation Therapy?.
[FADE TO BLACK. OPEN DOWNSTAIRS IN THE EDINBURGH VENUE. PRESENT ARE CONVULSION HACKS AND ANDY AND MICHEAL FROM CURRENT INDIE HEROES THERAPY?]
So guys this is the middle of your latest tour,do you prefer numerous short stints like this,to doing one extensive tour?
MICHEAL:Because we've never done a long tour I don't know if we could handle it. This is our longest,we're doing seven gigs in a row with a day off,and usually we do four with a day off.
ANDY:We're going to Germany on the 8th of April to the 21st,with two days off. We've to play Germany,Austria, and Paris.
M:Yeah,because the more you do the easier it gets. Last week we started the tour in Cork, usually we do forty minutes,but because we were headlining we said we'll do an hour to an hour ten,and three songs in I said "I'm not going to be able to finish this". I was so fucked. But then last night (in Glasgow) was OK,we're building up stamina.
Whenever we go home after touring,we practice maybe once a week,and you get out of the way of it. But when you're playing every night,it makes it easier on you.
A:Not really. Micheal likes death metal and I don't really like that,and Fyfe listens to techno.
A:I like all those bands,but I don't really think about it. i wouldn't say there's really anyone who's influenced me personally. Obviously everyone who I listen to has some influence,but there's nobody who really inspires me to write songs.
A:People in Britain seem to be more interested in image, Slowdive and Ride,where the image is integral to the sound. The good thing about American bands is that a lot of them don't give a fuck about how they look,they just play the music. A lot of British bands are too self conscious.
A:We hate having our photographs taken. The first photographs we had taken were for the NME,they were awful,we were basically just off the ferry. There was one of the three of us standing on a bridge,in Select I think,that was shite we looked like New Model Army,SLF,or something. Someone in Manchester asked us about image,does it matter? Fuck it!
A:I suppose everywhere is mundane.
M:It would probably be the same if we came from Edinburgh.
M:You can always lie. The housing estate where I come from is really quiet,but I could say there's kids selling crack,just tell lies like that.
I'm really glad that where I come from is really quiet,I don't think I could hack living in a city. I lived in a flat in Belfast for a while,after I left school, and I hated it.
A:I get paranoid in any city. We had an incident last week in Dublin,some people tried to steal our manager's car when we were at a friends house. Of course we went out and chased them off. Next thing about fifteen casuals came up the street carrying big sticks,it was one of their kid brothers who had tried to steal the car. This casual was yelling at us "what did you have to chase him for,he was only trying to steal a car?"They were going to beat the shit out of us and smash up the house. We eventually bullshitted our way out of it.
A:We got into Fury Murray's for for free after the gig, me, Micheal,and our guitar tech Mo. There was a promotion on,and because it was only a pound each we were having two bottles at a time. I don't normally drink much,and after we moved on to spirits I puked all over the carpet. I woke up this morning and I couldn't remember doing it. I felt so badly because I wouldn't like someone doing that at my house. I'm banned apparently.
I remember one time,The Impossibles, who we know in Edinburgh,took us to a party at the penthouse where they were recording. So we all got hideously drunk,it was after a Babes In Toyland gig,and I wrote"buy the Impossibles single it's fucking lush"in marker on the bathroom wall. It was silk wallpaper,the cleaning lady from Fontana came round and said"who did this?" the Impossibles said(feigns expression of shocked horror)"wasn't us!"The next day the Impossibles phoned me and said"would you kindly phone up the Fontana office and apologise."So I had to phone up humbly and apologise.
Apparently it cost ninety quid to replace the wallpaper.
M:It was like saunas and jaccuzzi's.
A:The Senseless Things were at a party there once, and had a sauna at two in the morning. There's this TV in the sauna that rises out of the floor. Cass sat on it as it was rising and the whole thing collapsed!
M:Good fun. I didn't meet Courtney Love.
A:I met her before when they supported Mudhoney,we were touring with Babes In Toyland at the time,and Michele took me backstage and introduced me to Courtney Love,I just said"Hello, how are you doing,"and talked to her a wee bit on the tour,but nobody really saw much of her because she tended to stay in the hotel. Hole were really nice people though,and Daisy Chainsaw (also on the tour) were brilliant too.
M:Thing about Hole was,I don't know what the situation in that band is,but the band arrived without Courtney Love,took out the equipment without Courtney Love,set up without Courtney Love,she turns up for the sound check does the gig,and then leaves,and the band pack the stuff away.
A:In Manchester she didn't turn up,and Eric said"Andy would you stand in for Courtney,for the sound check?"So I lifted her guitar and we played Teenage Whore,as I'm screaming in the microphone there's this tap on my shoulder and Courtney Love is standing right behind me. She gave me such a dirty look.
Finally; when should we expect to see a full album from you?
M:We're hopefully bringing an album out in August,and we want to put twelve to fourteen tracks on it. The way we're going to do it,is when we get back from Germany,we'll get a studio,rehearse,and do it in one go. I prefer it when you do it all at once.
[END TITLES,AND THEY ALL MOSHED HAPPILY EVER AFTER]